PlayStation Games I Want to Play on my PC

“Well, legally, anyway.”

Hey, isn’t it weird that it’s December now? I guess it was December last week, too, but it just feels like yesterday that I got the news that my university would be stopping in-person classes due to the Coronavirus and I went home to live with my parents for a couple months. And since then, I went back to Champaign to work from home for the summer, then I stayed in Champaign to do classes from home for the school year, and suddenly it’s December and classes are over. Where did the time go? I swear, this year has gone by so much faster than others. Probably because of the virus and the quarantine and stuff. But also because I’m getting old, I guess? I graduate from college next year. And then I have to go to grad school. How?

But, anyway, something that I think about a lot (in case you haven’t noticed) and something that took up a lot of my time for the first few months of quarantine is/was video games. And since it’s the Christmas gift-giving season, and I already talked about being thankful for everything in my life, now I get to do a weird, ironic 180-degree turn and start putting together a list of things that I want more of. Because thankful isn’t enough, I guess? Anyway, I wanted to put together a sort of “Christmas list” of games that I want. But these aren’t games that I can actually get, no. These are games that I can’t play on my computer! Or at least games that I can’t play without some very sketchy and vaguely-illegal downloads.

See, this is a list of games that have never been officially released on modern PCs, and have only been released on gaming consoles. And this list is actually going to be split into two parts (wow! A two-part special that’s basically a wishlist!), because I realized that all the games I want can be divided into two categories; games produced by Sony for the PlayStation 1 through 4, and games produced Nintendo for whatever console it was on. Really, this is more just an excuse for me to talk about games that I haven’t played that I think are cool, or games that I have played that I also think are cool but want to play again without buying my brother’s PlayStation 4 from him. I mean, I guess I could just get PlayStation Now, but no one actually uses that.

Here’s the catch, though; realistically, I could play all of these games on my computer, right now, for free, with just about an hour of work or so getting them set up. I’ve done this before, actually, for some older games. Yes, I’ll admit it, I’ve used an emulator. That is, I downloaded a program that creates a fake version of the gaming console I want inside my computer, and then run the games I want on that fake console inside my real computer. It’s a little bit like the matrix, I guess? Except kind of lame and without Keanu Reeves. And with a strong enough computer, you could realistically emulate up to last-gen consoles, like the PS4 or Xbox One (though Xbox consoles are notoriously difficult to emulate).

But the question is now, is all of this legal? Well… not really, no. The emulation software is legal to develop and use, but the games themselves, and very rarely key parts of the emulation software, all fall under copyright protections, and playing them without a license is technically theft. It’s piracy. I’ve been a pirate. But! Here’s were the legal stuff gets muddled. Some companies (usually small developers) will “let” you play emulated versions of their games if you already bought a copy. This might apply to some big companies too. Some developers give their games away for free after a while. And some companies just don’t care after a while. You can download games from the 80’s or 90’s as much as you want and, while it’s still a crime, no one really cares. But let’s be real; piracy is a crime that really only hurts independent developers, not the big corporations. But regardless, people worked really hard on these games. At least buy a copy first, or wait like ten years until they stop selling the game.

The company that tends to crack down the hardest on piracy, specifically on the emulation community, is Nintendo. They hate pirates, and as a business, I guess it makes sense. Piracy hurts the bottom line. But here’s where things get morally gray. Emulation can be a great form of community-building and museum curation. A lot of old games are really hard to play or fine on their proper systems, but with emulation, it’s as easy as downloading some files. Emulation is a great way to experience old games you would never had had a chance to play otherwise, and a great way to save old games that might be lost to time. It inspires huge projects of code work and community cooperation, and people work together to crack software or hardware to figure out what makes it tick. It’s kind of beautiful, as long as everything’s old enough to no longer have an economic weight attached to it. And with Nintendo’s case, some of their old games are impossible to play on their own modern systems. So if you don’t have, say, one of the ten Virtual Boys Nintendo sold, good luck ever playing that version of Wario Land.

So is emulation legal? Not technically, no, unless you’ve got express permission from whoever owns the intellectual property. Is it good? I think so, under most conditions. There’s no need to emulate modern games (except for those on console) because they’re already easily accessible, but if you want to emulate old arcade games and something off the Magnavox Odyssey, I say go right ahead. Just don’t tell anyone I told you about it.

Anyway, here’s some PlayStation games that I want to buy and play legally on my PC so that I don’t have to jump through hoops and emulate them in five years or so.

Kingdom Hearts Series

I don’t entirely get Kingdom Hearts. Besides the batshit fucking story, there’s like a dozen games, spanning every console and handheld since like the PS2, but not on PC, and the most recent one released just a year or so ago and it wasn’t even a PlayStation exclusive, so maybe it doesn’t belong on this list. But whatever, I always associate these games with PlayStation, so here they are. I want just one of them on PC. Like, the first one. Presumably with the part where Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck get their asses handed to them by Sephiroth. I think that’s the one. I want to play that. I’ve heard the rest are kind of hit or miss, but the whole thing just seems to weird and kind of surreal that I want to see what all the hype is about. I can’t wait to see Sully from Monsters Inc smashing some weird, soulless abominations on my desktop.

Silent Hill and Metal Gear Solid

Again, not PlayStation exclusives. Or not anymore, anyway. I think the first two Metal Gear Solid games were only on PlayStation 1, but I’m pretty confident the first couple Silent Hill games released on PC at the same time, way back when. And I know for a fact that some of them are for sale right now, in a modern storefront, on my computer, ready to run out of the box. It’s great, actually! I can play these games that I’ve wanted to! Why are they still on my list, then? Mainly because I want Silent Hill 2. I emulated it once, but it was such a monstrous hassle to get working and to get save files loading that I gave up trying to play it after the first time. So I want a version that works better. I don’t want to have to face a computer nightmare just to experience virtual nightmares.

PT

Alright, now we’re getting into the meat of this wishlist. A true PlayStation exclusive, and no longer available anywhere anymore to boot. “PT” stands for Playable Teaser, and this short, horrifying demo of a game was supposed to be the teaser trailer for Silent Hills. It’s one of the spookiest, most unsettling games I’ve ever played, but you know what’s spookier? Corporate shenanigans. Silent Hills never got made, and Konami removed all trace of PT from existence. But they can’t take my memories, because PT holds a very special, and very weird, place in my heart for a number of reasons that, one day, I’ll get into more depth about. I still have this game on my brother’s PS4 at home, and I’ll be really sad when it eventually breaks and it’s really gone forever. Which is why I’d really love an official PC rerelease. But the fan version is still pretty cool.

Sly Cooper Series

Is Sly Cooper just Metal Gear Solid for kids? No, I don’t think so, but I’m not really sure because I haven’t played very much of either. The reason I want to play this game again, though, is because my only memory of it is sitting in my cousin’s basement, playing on his PS2, and running around as the turtle. What made this special, though, and hilarious to a group of children such as myself, my brother, and our cousin, was that you could use a radio thing to shout insults at the guards in order to distract them and sneak around, and our favorite insult was “Up your nose with a rubber hose!” I still remember that vividly, and would very much like to shout insults at rhinos and lions again.

God of War Series

God of War is a bit of a mixed bag, but not because some games are shit or don’t make any sense, as is the case with Kingdom Hearts. No, God of War is a mixed bag because for every awesome scene of deicide at the hands of resident angry boy Kratos, or for every intricate battle against the monsters of Greek mythology, there seems to be just as many scenes that are very clear, very awkward male power fantasies. From what I’ve seen of the first couple games, as good as they are, Kratos just seems absolutely insufferable. He’s the epitome of ‘roided up angry professional wrestler, but with even less tact than most professional wrestlers. And in a world where “angry white ‘lone wolf’ goes and kills a bunch of people” is very much a terrifying threat, I have a hard time siding with Kratos. But I’ve heard that the newest one, where he has a son, is really great and doesn’t have any of that stupid misogynist power trip stuff. So I want to give that a try, at least.

Shadow of the Colossus

Shadow of the Colossus, and to a lesser extent Ico and The Last Guardian, is a game that I’m always told I should play before I die and/or get tired of video games. It’s one of the closest that games have come to being art, they say, or one of the best examples of games as art, a piece of pure atmosphere and single, focused vision. Plus it spawned a decade-long hunt for a non-existent final secret, so that’s worth checking out, too. On the other hand, I’ve heard that the game is kind of slow, and the gameplay can get pretty janky at times. But, hey, who hasn’t been there? It’s a game that I still really want to play just because everyone talks about it so much and I want to be a part of the conversation, too. And you can ride the seagulls. I want to ride the seagulls.

Persona 5

I have this uncomfortably vivid memory of a friend of mine in high school bouncing up and down on his toes while clasping his hands together and mumbling “Persona 5, Persona 5, Persona 5” over and over again. This was the first time I’d heard of the game, and needless to say, it was not a positive first impression. But, since then, I’ve heard tons more about it, and everybody says that it’s a great, if insanely long and complex, game. I actually have a lot of hope that this one will come to PC, since Persona 4 just got a PC release not too long ago. But until then, they’re just another anime character to me. Admittedly one that can summon demons and invade dreams, but another anime character nevertheless.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Spider-Man is apparently a common visitor to the PlayStation, as some of the earlier Spider-Man games are considered the of the best games on the consoles. Which is weird, because almost no other video game adaptation of comic book characters is any good, with the sole exceptions of the Batman Arkham games and any LEGO game. But I’ve played this game all the way through, and so have my dad and brother, and we all really like it. It actually became a sort of bonding thing for us, since we all played the game and shared what parts we enjoyed and what parts we got stuck on. I always liked the stealth parts, even though they fall apart so quickly, but we all agree that the swinging is probably the greatest part of the game. I want to play it again, preferably with the new Miles Morales expansion-sequel-addon thing.

Uncharted 2 and The Last of Us

Uncharted 2 and the first The Last of Us are, like Shadow of the Colossus, more of those games that if you mention to someone, depending on the demographic of the person you’re talking to, will either elicit they “hey, my sibling loves that game!” response or the “OH MY GOD YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED THE LAST OF US?” response. There is seemingly no middle ground. I have never played either for more than a couple hours, regrettably, and this is primarily because I didn’t want to have to use a controller for shooting mechanics. After using a mouse and keyboard for first-person shooting games, going back to a controller is like that moment in Star Wars where Obi-Wan tosses away the blaster in contempt. That entire sentence makes me sound like a snob, but I can’t be that snobbish if I haven’t played these games, I guess? Either way, I want to get into them because The Last of Us is supposed to have the most emotional rollercoaster of a story in gaming. But can it be more emotional than the storybook in Mario Galaxy?

The New Demon’s Souls

I’ve talked about Dark Souls, Sekiro, and Bloodborne so many times now that hopefully, even if you’ve never read any of my other video game blogs, you have at least heard the name a few times. But Demon’s Souls is the only major From Software game I haven’t played, so I was really excited when I heard that it was getting a modern remake. And then I was even more excited when I heard that it was getting a PC release. And then I was pissed when Sony retracted that. So I really want this game on PC, not just because I think they’re going to start putting all their games on PC after Horizon Zero Dawn a few months back, and not just because I want to fight towering, flaming demons with a stupid sword, but mostly because I’m pissed that Sony said “oops, takesies-backsies.” Oh, and I really want Bloodborne on PC, too. I think that’s a given at this point, since it isn’t on PC either. I’d pay full price for a game I’ve finished three times just to play it with the ease of my computer.

Oh, yeah, and isn’t it weird how the original Demon’s Souls, on the PS3, was a sort-of underground game that did only moderately well and developed a cult following, and now its remake is literally being heralded as a console-selling game? Crazy how things can change without actually altering the game that much. Not that this game doesn’t deserve that status; hell, I might get a PS5 just to play it, but it’s just crazy to me to think about it.

Some Other Games

Well, that’s about all of them. Those are the biggest PlayStation exclusive games that I’d personally love to see released on PC so I can easily give my money straight to Sony instead of just pirating the games themselves. See, porting exclusives to PC is a profitable market! This way I don’t have to a commit an information crime!

Anyway, there are a few other games that I’d want, too, like the cute and cuddly building toy Little Big Planet, the weirdly realistic and surreal building toy Dream, the clown racing-smasher Twisted Metal, Bram Stoker’s Dracula the videogame Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, the utterly indistinguishable and confusingly similar Jak and Daxter and Ratchet and Clank, the strange simian puzzle game Ape Escape, and, of course, Knack II. But that’s about all of them.