What I’m Thankful For In 2020

“Post-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Special”

So after last week’s post that basically amounted to me complaining about my very fortunate existence, and after I had a chance to actually celebrate Thanksgiving with my friends and family (safely and distantly, of course), I realized that I hadn’t really been doing a lot of actual thanking on this site.  Kind of defeats the point of Thanksgiving, doesn’t it?  To just complain and take for granted all the nice things that I have?  Well, here’s my attempt to rectify that by being publicly thankful for the people and things in my life that mean so much to me.  Although maybe the public part kind of defeats the purpose, too?  Regardless, it’s something that I want to make a post about, so here are the things that I’m thankful for in this dumpster-fire year of 2020.  Also, obviously there is kind of an order here, but please don’t be offended, it’s a very fluid systemic order, not a ranking because I don’t want to rank people.  And if you aren’t on here, I’m still thankful for your existence.

First of all: my parents.  I’m incredibly thankful for all that they do for me.  Although I’ve already written about them and thanked them in depth in their own special posts, I want to reiterate how amazing they both are.  They’ve taken care of me for my entire life, taught me important skills and life lessons, from tree identification to keeping a budget.  I’ve been incredibly lucky to have both of them present in my life for the entirety of my existence, and I don’t know if I would even still be alive without their love and care for me.  So I am thankful and grateful to have them with me today.  I love you guys.

Next, my brother. I’m thankful to have my brother, Nick, with me, too. Similarly, I don’t know where I’d be without him, either. He’s my best friend and one of the people that I’m closest to in any social circle. He’s such an amazing person, incredibly kind and compassionate, and one of the funniest motherfuckers I know. I would do anything for him and I know he’d do the same for me. I didn’t always realize how special of a bond we share, or how unique our connection is even among siblings, and I’m so thankful to have it. I love you.

And my grandparents, too. I love all of you. From taking care of Nick and I on every Thursday while we were little, or letting me eat sprinkles and dog food (I was a weird kid), or helping us explore new places on vacation, or coming over for dinner and sharing anti-Trump memes in your wallet, or watching Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood in your living room before I can even remember that well, or going with us to get lottery tickets and Chinese food, I love you all. I’m incredibly lucky to have known all four of my grandparents (and three of my great-grandparents) for as long as I did, and I’m still incredibly lucky to have the majority of them still alive. And while I miss those that have passed, I’m thankful that they’re all amazing, loving people that I’m lucky enough to have in my life.

And, of course, my extended family. All the myriad aunts and uncles and great-aunts and great-uncles and cousins and cousins-once-removed and second cousins and step-cousins and people wholly unrelated to me my blood but related by family bonds anyway and so on backwards down the number line forever, I’m thankful for you, too. Family camping trips all around the Midwest are some of my favorite childhood memories, even the trips that have gotten us banned from the state of Wisconsin. Easter and Christmas celebrations spent on the river or in each others homes are, too, incredibly fond memories that I have thankful to have. There are so many people in my extended family circle that it’s hard to keep track of who’s related to whom, and it’s been really tough seeing none of them this year. I miss you guys. I can’t wait until we’re all able to safely meet up again. I love you.

I’m also thankful for my amazing girlfriend, Cheyenne. She’s a beautiful person inside and outside and I’m very lucky to be with her. We get along so well, can always laugh with each other, aren’t afraid to cry with each other, help each other out when we’re stressed, and just exist naturally in the same space. Whether it’s in Champaign, Lisle, Decatur, or anywhere else, I love you, and I’m grateful to have you in my life, no matter what. You’re a wonderful person.

Now, onto my friends. I break up my friend circles into two distinct groups, with some minor overlaps; high school friends (or childhood friends) and college friends. To my high school friends, who I knew first, I’m thankful for you still being friends with me after all these years and distances. For getting Indian food for both dinner and lunch and talking about the future, or for coming over to my house to spend time around the bonfire and just chat, sometimes while in costumes, or having our small group over to play Smash Bros. Thank you. There are some of you that I haven’t talked to or meaningfully interacted with for years, but I’m still thankful for you, as you had a positive impact on my life. Collecting rusted nails along the train tracks and smashing abandoned pieces of countertop are memories I’ll never forget. I love you all and I’m thankful to have you in my life.

And the same is true of my college friends. As I type this, about half of my college friends are now graduated or moved away, and I can’t keep as close contact with them as I would like to, but I’m still thankful to have met them. Also, it’s hard to keep close contact with anyone right now, due to, well, the global pandemic. Specifically, I’m really thankful for the friends that I met in Allen Hall, Students for Environmental Concerns, and the few classes I actually talked to people, who have helped me to become a better, stronger person all around. Throwing pumpkins and carpets off of a parking garage or shotgunning beers in a stranger’s bathtub were never memories I expected to make, but I wouldn’t give them back for a million dollars. And we were moving that bike rack, as a matter of fact.

And I’m thankful for all the teachers, mentors, counselors, and therapists (both in-school and out) I’ve had over the years that have helped me to learn new material, push my boundaries, cope with difficult situations, be creative, and generally grow into a better person. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without an incredible set of teachers, mentors, and adult friends, both in high school and in college. The number of people who have impacted my life just through the school system alone is staggering, so I’m really thankful that I’ve been lucky enough to have a top-rate education both before and during college. I got to do musical, Scholastic Bowl, Science Olympiad, become an Eagle Scout, and stay top of my class; there aren’t a lot of places that would allow for so many opportunities simultaneously. So thank you.

And speaking of that Eagle Scout thing, I’m thankful for… well, I have rather confusing, mostly negative feelings about the Boy Scouts of America organization as a whole that I don’t want to get into right now. So let’s just say this; I’m thankful for the people that I met through scouting and the experiences that I had as a scout, which, for me, were all positive. I got to go to Philmont three times, and I’m thankful for the amazing treks, the bonds I strengthened along the way, and the new friends I made working there. I also got to go to Sea Base once, sleep in a submarine twice, go to summer camp for a week a half-dozen or so times, earn like thirty merit badges, go on tons of camping trips, and meet a bunch of great people, both adults and kids, that have helped guide me to being a better person. I’m also thankful that I had such a positive experience and avoided something far more sinister. It hurts that not everyone was so lucky with scouting. In fact, it hurts that not everyone was so lucky, period.

I suppose in that last paragraph I could have, instead, said I’m thankful for nature. So I’ll say it now, then; I’m thankful for nature. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to visit so many beautiful natural places and experience the joys of backpacking, camping, kayaking, rock-climbing, snorkeling, and more. I’m thankful for travel in general, that my parents have been willing to take my brother and I on so many trips throughout our lives. While I may not live in an area that’s renowned for its natural beauty, I’m still thankful I live in a place with birds. I get to see crows almost every day and I love that. I’m thankful that such birds exist, and that nature exists in general. That there are places I can go to where the trees stretch endlessly or the blue of the ocean reflects the endless sky. It’s one of the reasons I’m an environmental science major. And that I believe that everyone should have access to these resources, and that they deserve to exist for their own sakes. The natural world is a beautiful thing. And we need to protect it. I’m thankful that action is being taken to do so.

I’m thankful for books, too. For knowledge. For the fact that I can read and write whatever the hell I want and no one can tell me to stop. The immense freedom and responsibility that comes with both freedom of speech and freedom of knowledge is incredible, and something that not everyone has. So I’m thankful that I have books to read, and movies to watch, and games to play, and access to a largely-uncensored internet, and a platform on which to share my thoughts, and an audience that is willing to read them. If you’re reading this right now, regardless of who or where you are, I’m thankful for you.

There are so many more things that I’m thankful for. Things like modern medicine and science, and especially the nurses and doctors and researchers and frontline workers who are fighting right now to keep us all healthy and safe. Things like firefighters and paramedics who have to risk their lives to help the community. Things like the opportunities afforded to me for living in one of the wealthiest countries on earth. Things like my fat-ass computer that lets me type this while ray-tracing DOOM in the background. Things like diversity and inclusion that don’t always get the spotlight they deserve. Things like the people who are fighting to make sure that everyone can be thankful for these things, because not everyone can be.

There’s a lot to be thankful for. I know I whine and yell a lot about the problems with this country and with the world, and I don’t regret that whining or yelling because there are a hell of a lot of problems, and we need to solve them. But I guess it can’t hurt for me to turn around once and appreciate everything that lets me sit up on my pedestal and whine and yell in the first place. But, more importantly, I need to take time to appreciate the people in my life that support me and love me. I think that’s really what Thanksgiving should be about. Acknowledging, appreciating, and thanking the people in your life that make your world worth living in. So thank you, to all of you. I didn’t always believe it, but I do know now that my life is worth living. So thank you. I love all of you. And happy Thanksgiving.