“Time doesn’t matter when you keep repeating every 20 minutes.”
You know, I was going to do a review on Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom – Rehydrated this week, since I loved the game as a kid and it came out on Steam right around the same time Outer Wilds did. But after playing Outer Wilds for much, much longer than I played Spongebob these last couple weeks, I think it’s only fair that I give more spotlight to the game that kept me exploring for way longer than I expected. That’s a good thing, I promise. Because, like the title says, time is relative. And it’s a bit hard to say if that’s more or less true in Outer Wilds, where time matters so very, very much to the game, unlike pretty much any other game, ever. With some exceptions.
Before I talk about that, though, quick hot take on Battle for Bikini Bottom: the main game is great. It’s just like I remember from the original Xbox. It’s fun, it’s colorful, it controls well, it’s giving my nostalgia a run for its money, and it’s easily the best and/or only good Spongebob video game in existence. And that’s what I bought it for, so it’s an easy recommend. But here’s the hot take; the multiplayer part sucks. It’s so, so bad. There’s no challenge, no strategy, no cooperation or competition even though it requires two players, the hitboxes on enemies are weird, the Squidward robot does jack nothing, it’s repetitive, it feels like it was tacked on at the end, and there is zero pay-off for any of it. Not even so much as a “Congratulations!” It just boots you right back to the menu. Utter garbage. But I guess that’s what you get when you try to turn a 3D platformer into an isometric multiplayer arena brawler. Don’t buy the game hoping for new content. It’s there, but it’s rubbish. Just play the main game.
But enough about that. I’d rather talk about a game that’s, in some ways, very much like a classic 3D platformer of the late 90’s and early 00’s; in Outer Wilds, you jump around, explore incredibly-detailed, hand-crafted 3D spaces, dodge hazards, talk to other characters, and find treasure. Sure, in that regard, the game isn’t too different than Spongebob or Banjo-Kazooie. But Outer Wilds is only a 3D Platforming game in the sense that you jump on 3D platforms. The treasure here isn’t a handful of shiny objects or collectible knick-knacks; the treasure hidden within the planets of Outer Wilds are of a more esoteric nature. The treasure is knowledge. Which, typing that out, has got to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever written. So let’s drop this 3D Platformer comparison and get back to the root of things, huh?
In Outer Wilds, you play as an amphibian creature that lives on the surface of a tiny planet which is part of a tiny solar system visiting a tiny sun. Your only goal, at first, is to explore. And the more you explore, the less “tiny” these places start to feel, since they’re so packed with stuff to find. You start the game by hopping into your spaceship, and, after a brief introduction, take off into space, orbiting around your home planet. From the start, you’re free to explore wherever you want to, and there is truly a lot to explore. There are five planets you know of, each of which has a couple different locations, and in addition to that, there’s a handful of space stations and a comet to follow. Where do you go first? Do you stay on the starting planet, Timber Hearth, and see what’s in those caves? Do you go to the moon, Attlerock, at the suggestion of some ancient writings and mysterious glowing statues? Or do you set out for one of the other planets and make your own way around, stumbling and discovering as you see fit? It’s entirely up to you.
However, explore as much as you like, pretty soon you’ll realize that all your carefully-plotted and mapped expeditions end up the same as any of the best-laid plans of mice and spacemen; burning in the fiery halo of an exploding star. Because there’s the crux of the game. If you were just flying around some planets, solving puzzles and piecing together backstory, there’s a dozen games that would fit that description. Myst? Sure, why not? What Remains of Edith Finch? Technically only on one planet, but yes. Super Mario Galaxy? Uhhh… have I been here before? Only if those other games end in fiery death. So just Super Mario Galaxy, then.
Yes, yes, yes, and no. Because while maybe Outer Wilds borrows a lot of inspiration from other games, nowhere else does it quite to the same beautiful level as this game. The space physics, spinning around a planet after crashing into it at a thousand meters a second. Seamlessly leaving one planet to land on another one, where you’re entirely in control. Unraveling a story that spans both thousands of years and thousands of miles, all while jetpacking across the surface of a planet as its black hole center devours itself. It’s this incredible interplay between story, exploration, and movement that, for me, made this game ascend to another layer above other walking simulator/puzzle games. That, and the time loop.
The big selling point for this game has been, and probably always will be, the fact that, no matter where you are in the solar system, or no matter what you’ve done, after 22 minutes of playing, you die. The sun explodes, literally, you are swallowed up by the expanding supernova, and everything left of your body gets turned to dust. Except… then you wake up, back in the same place you started the game, on your home planet. Next to a nice, warm campfire. Did you die? Did you go back in time? Did the universe reset? In the end, it doesn’t matter, because it’s a chance to go out and explore some more, knowing what you’ve already seen, even if it doesn’t know you’ve already seen it. There are no mistakes, no wrong ways of doing things, because you can try again the next time around. Even with the pressure of a 22-minute timer, you’ve got as many iterations as you want. There’s no rush. Sit by the fire, watch the stars, play some music. Learn to sculpt ice.
Let’s be real here; that’s pretty cool, from a story perspective. But it’s also cool from a gameplay perspective, too, because the solar system is different depending on what part of the loop you get there. Visiting Brittle Hollow in the last five minutes? Sorry, most of the cool stuff got eaten by a black hole. Stop by and the beginning to see a stable surface. Want to dig into the towers on Ash Twin? You’re gonna have to wait, it’s all covered in sand for now. Exploring the tunnels under Ember Twin? Be careful you don’t get stuck in the sand as it rises from below. Want to hit that comet? Better be fast before it falls into the sun.
And everything is worth exploring, too. I’ve said that like three times now, but I can’t overstate just how cool this solar system is. Geysers, hanging cities, teleporters, ice caves, a forest valley, disappearing rocks, a volcanic moon, giant fish, and more. And it’s all so pretty, too. That’s the other big draw for me, I guess; the game looks so damn good. The art direction is spectacular, and the music and sound is top-notch. When I first booted up the game and woke up next to that first bonfire, and walked around this adorable little valley with cute wood-cut houses, I wanted to live there. It looks so pleasant, so lifelike. So welcoming. And later, when I ended up in the middle of an ocean, surrounded by tornadoes, it felt alive. The whole world was moving, and I could feel it. The entire system spins and spins and spins, and it looks damn fine doing it.
There’s a lot more to explore than I thought, too. I’m used to adventure games like Gone Home or Edith Finch, where they take three, maybe four hours to experience. Like a short story, or a novella. But by that definition, then, Outer Wilds is a full-on book. It takes time to get from planet to planet, yes, and I suspect much of my game time was spent equally reading stuff, looking at cool things, and floating through space. But none of it feels like padding or filler; everything in this game feels like a cohesive whole, something that people really, really cared about making. And it shows.
I should probably note that I’m a little bit late to the party, especially since this game came out in 2019, and won every award in 2019. So why review it now? Well, unlike Sekiro, it isn’t because my computer couldn’t run it; it’s because I refuse to buy games from the Epic Games Store, because I am a neurotic child. There are a couple reasons why, but the main one has to do with my OCD. I don’t want to have games in more than one place, so if I can wait a little bit to get a game just to make sure that those numbers on Steam will go up, I’m fine with that. I’ve sunk too much time into Steam to jump ship now. The other is logistical; I have such a back log of games that if I buy a game right when it comes out, chances are I won’t play it for a year or two anyway, since I’m still playing the games I bought last year. The third and, frankly, least impactful, reason is that the Epic Games Store is a load of garbage when it comes to usability. The interface is jank, there’s very little in the way of friends or community integration, and even the search bar is trash. It’s just not user-friendly in any context, so on that front, Steam wins by a landslide.
But. There’s always a but. I really, really respect Epic Games for what they’re doing for indie developers. On that side of things, the Epic Games Store is the place for Indie games. Well, second to Itch.io, but that’s another story. If you want to sell an Indie game and make it big, you’re best off going with the Epic Games Store contract; seems like they give studios some financial and marketing support and, in return, the game has to be exclusive on the Epic Games Store for a year. That’s… a pretty good fucking deal. Plus, combined with the fact that the Epic Games Store only has a 12% commission for every purchase compared to Steam’s downright predatory 30% cut of the profits, as a developer, the Epic Games Store is a no-brainer. And you know what? If it means that more independent developers get to make games, I’m perfectly happy with that year of exclusivity. I’m willing to wait to buy a game on Steam if it means that the game still gets to exist. And if I really, really can’t wait to buy a game? I’ll just buy it from the Epic Games Store, like any reasonable human would do. Really, I don’t think this timed exclusives thing is that big a deal.
This review has been a bit all over the place, hasn’t it? From Spongebob to the proper subject of the review to the Epic Games Store nonsense, it’s a bit wild. You could even say it’s outer wild. Heh. That’s dumber than the thing about the treasure being knowledge that I wrote earlier. But it exists now, and I refuse to take it back. And, much like I refuse to take that back, there are a couple of other things I don’t want to take back. For example; Dark Bramble is a terrible place. It’s the only part of the game I don’t like. It’s slow, needlessly confusing, and a pain in the ass to get to. It’s just about the only thing that bugged me about the game; that, and that some of the time stuff could’ve been utilized further. I’m thinking things like more time-specific events, more things that happen at the beginning or the end, instead of just being mostly constant. And maybe an easier way to speed up time; I found myself waiting around for sand to drain on at least five or six separate occasions. But these are really my only big issues; there weren’t really any other problems with the game that I remember. The movement is great, the story is maybe a bit weak at times but overall heartwarming, the ending is satisfying, and everything worked very well together. I think that’s a good enough review.
I think what’s going to stick with me the most, now that I’ve finished this game, are the opening moments on that sweet little wooden planet, the trees that are inexplicably littered throughout the solar system, and the sun exploding. Some things I may forget, like the little puzzles or how to get from one end of the planet to the other, but at the end of the day, the beauty of this little created world, the originality of its design and the warm, fuzzy feeling it gives me, even as I know it’s all going to burn, makes me happy. There aren’t a lot of games I can say that about, and I want to hold on to it.
Give this game a (moon)shot.
